SO EVEN MORE EMBARRASSING THAN THE PUBLIC LAUGHING WAS THE FACT THAT AS I STOOD UP TO GET OFF THE BUS ALL FIVE OF MY CANS OF SMIRNOFF FLEW EVERYWHERE AND OMG I STARTED LAUGHING AND NO ONE WOULD HELP ME AND PLEASE DON’T EVER LET ME GET ON PUBLIC TRANSPORT AGAIN.

“AND OH THE SHAME! THOUGHT OF CHANGING MY NAME!”