I had pizza for lunch and dinner yesterday.
Text hung with thread in a local park on the weekend.
i decided that over my life time im gonna have three husbands
- he gonna be richer than god and so old he’s nearly a ghost
- i’m gonna wait so long for the rich dude to die i’m gonna be getting bitched at about my “maternal expiry date” so i’ll marry a ‘nice’ dude and have a couple kids. but by the time the kids fly the coop we’re gonna realise we aren’t happy and imma leave him for number three
- this dude is gonna be the love of my life or whatver. but i wasted so much time waiting for 1 to die and raising 2’s kids we only get like 5 years together before one of us carks it from age or illness
it’s a solid ass plan
My mom: “Hurry up, we have to go now!”
Me: “I’m coming…”
this is my new favourite gif
i have never noticed before today that spidey wasn’t real
still laughing about it 3 hours later